My Mom said the cutest thing today. She said all of us on here are like “cyber hippies”. All about preaching peace, love, freedom, and human equality. Letting our hair grow. And not wanting to do much work. I dont know about you but that sounds pretty spot on.
The concern for overly exposed young bodies may be well-intentioned. With society fetishizing girls at younger and younger ages, girls are instructed to self-objectify and see themselves as sexual objects, something to be looked at. A laundry list of problems can come from obsessing over one’s appearance: eating disorders, depression, low self-worth. Who wouldn’t want to spare her daughter from these struggles?
But these dress codes fall short of being legitimately helpful. What we fail to consider when enforcing restrictions on skirt-length and the tightness of pants is the girls themselves—not just their clothes, but their thoughts, emotions, budding sexuality and self-image.
Instead, these restrictions are executed with distracted boys in mind, casting girls as inherent sexual threats needing to be tamed. Dress restrictions in schools contribute to the very problem they aim to solve: the objectification of young girls. When you tell a girl what to wear (or force her to cover up with an oversized T-shirt), you control her body. When you control a girl’s body—even if it is ostensibly for her “own good”—you take away her agency. You tell her that her body is not her own.
When you deem a girl’s dress “inappropriate,” you’re also telling her, “Because your body may distract boys, your body is inappropriate. Cover it up.” You recontextualize her body; she now exists through the male gaze."
it’s also like… the idea is theoretically supposed to be about “making a better learning environment for everyone” except that’s just a giant load of bullshit. if the dress code regulations are all about what girls can and cannot wear then they’re only concerned with making the learning environment better for boys. forcing girls to be constantly self-conscious about their appearance, to deal with being called out by teachers for their shirt straps being too thin or their skirts being too short, and to put up with the objectification and male gaze this quote talks about makes the learning environment worse for girls. this sends a very clear message to all female students about who the school is really there for. it’s not for them and they know it.(via rapeculturerealities)
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
being a fan of something and having a crap fandom is like standing in the middle of a party and everyone is loud, obnoxious and rude and occasionally spits acid in your face but your friends are there, the music is excellent, and there’s lots of food, and there’s great wifi so you don’t really wanna leave so you kind of just stand there going
I’ll respect your opinion as long as your opinion doesn’t disrespect my existence.
THIS PHRASE SHOULD BE WRITTEN EVERYWHERE AROUND THE WORLD
my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March 2nd” on the whiteboard in the drama classroom. It was completely arbitrary but we kept it it up, “30 days until March 2nd” ”23 days until March 2nd” etc. It spread around enough that the entire school is buzzing about what is going to happen on March 2nd. We figure we should think of something and decide to bring in cake. There were about 13 of us in total committed to bringing a cake. On March 2nd, during 3rd period lunch we all entered the cafeteria in a line (the parade of the cakes) and laid them out—a grand cake buffet for everyone in that lunch period. We did it the next year. And after we graduated it kept going.
This past March 2nd was the 9th year they’ve done it. It’s become a school sponsored event. There are t-shirts for this thing every year. March 2nd is cake day. I am a god.
|Anonymous : When you were younger, before you identified as asexual did you ever feel like you were obligated to have romantic and sexual relationships? As in, I remember trying to force myself to have crushes but not enjoying it when I went oust, the same with kissing. But could it be that I repressed these feelings or is it just the result of the society we live in?|
Oh wow wow I’m really excited to answer this, actually, because a few years ago I did a brief study on crush experiences in the ace community!
It’s actually quite common for asexuals (regardless of romantic orientation) to “manufacture” crushes (particularly during childhood and adolescence), such as to fit in with peers or because we feel like it’s what’s expected of us. I’ve talked with a lot of aces who will often go along with friends and agree that people are “hot” or “sexy” even if they don’t feel they are, just to fit in or avoid uncomfortable questions. And for aces who do have crushes, it’s so hard to even try to explain how you can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to them.
One respondent in the study discussed how she understood societal expectations for crushes while feeling like an outsider:
"I was taught that boys like girls and girls like boys and that everyone gets a crush and then date and then eventually get married. So even though I didn’t actually have any real crushes, in elementary and middle school I did make some up just so I wouldn’t feel or seem weird. In high school I didn’t make up any crushes, but I did think it was weird that everyone was dating and crushing on people when I obviously didn’t."
Someone else talked more about “forcing” themselves to have crushes:
"For several years in elementary school I would pick three or four boys I thought other people would find “cute” and drew hearts next to them in my yearbook, because I was worried if someone looked at my yearbook and didn’t see that kind of evidence of crushes that they would think I was weird."
One of the main themes that I got out of reading the responses to my study is that overwhelming sense of societal pressure to have crushes:
"I wanted to have a crush. I was very into doing things right, and all the societal messages I had been getting told me that having crushes was a thing that girls my age did. In sixth grade I went to a counselor because a boy in my class was tormenting me, and she immediately assumed that I had a thing for him. It was everywhere.”
Consider how you feel about your crushes, Anon. Do you feel that you’re repressing something? Or do you feel that you’ve forced yourself to have crushes based on a kind of societal expectation? You’re the only one who can answer that.
But know that you’re not alone- you’re not the only one who has forced yourself to have crushes. And you’re not the only one who has ended up in a relationship that hasn’t worked for you due to that pressure to have a romantic and/or sexual relationship.